Reflections on Day 1 of Prelims

The first thing I did in the morning, before brushing my teeth, before getting ready for school, before the examinations began, was to light the joss sticks and place them on the altar in front of the statue of the Goddess of Mercy, praying the for luck, health, strength and courage. Just this morning, I became a hardcore devotee to Buddhism.

The first person I talked to was a close friend of mine. As per normal, she wore her signature look, at least to me it’s a signature, one that showed no emotions but threatens a potent wrath if antagonized. For no particular reason but from her unique facial expression, she reminded me of the sea: calm and solace, and at times choppy. A pleasant clean freak, she at times can be the problematic to handle, just like how it is impossible to remove a dried mucus, which cannot be cleared from the normal blowing, in public without using a tissue to hide the pinky. Albeit that, we are very close friends.

The first thing I felt after conquering , or rather slogging through the day’s papers was utter lethargy. Not relief, not stress, but lethargy. Ironically speaking, I wasn’t really entirely frazzled but there is within me a part that refuses to cope with the need to have the clarity of thought. The papers were manageable, but nonetheless the outcomes are bound to display a rather dismal picture. I guess I have only myself to blame. Long story short, I screw up at the most convenient time of the year.

The first person I talked to after the last paper was the girl seated across the aisle, beside me. She looked exhausted:her hair ruffled, and her gaze seemingly portrayed the message of a desperate need for sleep, her hunched but lady-like demeanor rested against the desk emits an aura of austerity yet confidence. She herself is a goddess. One who reminded me as well as others about the stark inferiority we possess. Cruel yet beautiful. Regardless, we are still close friends.

There are many first times in life and today reminded me of the many first times. I do think that first times are important, after all they are the outcomes of decisions, which may be seemingly threatening yet fulfilling at the same time.

For instance ….

The first time I took my first puff was this year.
The first time I was overly self-conscious was this year.
The first time I wanted cheated was this year.
The first time I skipped lectures was this year.

And then there was ….

The first time I held a concert in JC was this year.
The first time I received a class award from my favorite teacher was this year.
The first time I did a proper pull-up was this year.
The first time I went to the gym was this year.

And also ….

The first time I danced on stage was when I was 6.
The first time I had an eye-candy was when I was 11.
The first time I returned home after midnight was when I was 13.
The first time I drank was when I was 14.
The first time I hosted was when I was 15.
The first time I worked was when I was 16.
The first time I ate beef was when I was 17.

Essentially, I have my many first times, both the good, the bad as well as the memorable ones. They do however depict the kind of person I am, and potentially will be. I firmly believe that one should cherish whatever opportunities one is hurled with and embrace the many first times. With regards to whether that first time will be the last, will then be the decision based on personal preferences.

But there is no other better ways to knowing me other than our mutual interactions. And perhaps, it would be our first but not the last time talking together.

It is 2339 and I shall turn in for the night whilst feeling a sense of accomplishment and at the same time a sense of dread for tomorrow’s paper.

PS. Apparently, this piece ain’t contain the power the previous piece had. The reason would be the lack of “emoness” within me at the moment. Trust me, last night was really a night that I literally almost vomit.

 

first-step1

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