it all matters

Two years ago, I enrolled myself into Meridian Junior College. Then, I was excited about how life would be like in a system that focuses greatly on academic outcomes. How should I introduce myself to my would-be classmates? What CCA should I join? How the lecturers and tutors would be like? What kind of expectations is deemed appropriate?  All the time spent pondering on the above questions inevitably also mean that I was blatantly oblivious of the unsettling and humongous pile of workload that was coming.

Blood, tears and sweat were shed as I engage in a seemingly endless combat with the nonsensical but important enemy – grades. And it is amusing because an ‘A’ can easily bring forth happiness while in contrast a ‘U’ more often than not spells a dismal outcome. (Yes, I am talking about the ruthless parent-teacher conference.)

And there are those times where the simplest action dictates the sweetest moments -the random deep philosophical discussions, or the not-so-random motivational speech, or the unexpected chastising by our assigned tutors. Such profound revelation entails a hidden interpretation, which sadly seems to be taken for granted, and that is our tutors’ care.

The whole of two years was without any expectations. And I guess I do regret it. I said that I do not care, nor am I concerned about my grades but I guess I am now, or at least I am feeling so an hour before the big event.

In short, life wasn’t easy (it never is and never will be). But I survived. And grew amid the laughters, tears, angers, hatred, lethargy …

Two years later, on the day when I will be receiving my results and I am feeling surprisingly placid. What is done is done. I could forget everything and run or face everything and rise. I chose the latter.

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