predator

newborn chicks chirping
vulves vulves prancing and snarling
nest gone with the wind

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“I didn’t choose delirium, delirium chose me.”

I didn’t choose delirium, delirium chose me.

So here I am on a Thursday night, with a Starbucks in my left hand and phone in my right, travelling on a crowded bus on the way back home. As usual, my short hair dishevelled, my glasses lacquered with a very thin layer of thumbprints and dust, my face adorned with unripened pimples (oh, how I wish they are ripe…) and my attire utterly despondent. I happened to have completed a huge bulk of work back in camp and finally realised that there’s a rehearsal to spearhead the following day and the preparations – unfinished emcee scripts – were awaiting to be completed back home (Not complaining). And of course, not forgetting a 4D3N excursion into the woods coming up following week. (This, I begrudge.)

The week has been busy. The work just keeps piling and so many things needed a second glance. I haven’t been sleeping well the week prior, and I haven’t been sleeping these few days either. This birthed greater misery as I succumb to a pounding headache, which I scramble to mitigate through god knows how many Panadol. Frankly speaking, I am surprised that I am still alive and moving. Caffeine and Paracetamol most certainly do work their wonders.

I’m literally squeezing out every remaining iota of mental clarity and physical strength to extrapolate the mesh of voices and forgotten traces of thoughts out or at the very least form some semblance of order in my head. I’m more than aware of the exhaustion and I find it hilarious that I am enjoying this sense of delirium. As much as I hate to admit, I am enjoying my job.

Yes, the job is demanding and tough (both physically and mentally).

Yes, the job pays horribly.

Yes, the job requires breaking away from the mould and be constantly versatile.

But, I absolutely adore the delicate craft of nurturing and severing the intimate relationships between people, find pride in the ability to fully utilise my oratorical prowess, and have the aptitude to be so many steps ahead. Most importantly, I love how the team there consists of certain people who are so bad at their job that they fall victims to excellent gossips.

~

I guess there’s that for now.

May the odds be ever in my favour.