2016, fin

Dear You,

2016 is coming to an end. So is our relationship.

Take it as a way of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, or the silver lining among the darkest clouds. We had, for the briefest moments, agreed to be a part of each other’s minuscule lives. You and your world of complicated math formulas and physics theorems, and me with my universe of books and late night dramas. We had, for the slightest of time, allowed each other into our world of paranoia. You and your compulsive mood swings when you are stressed or focused.  Me and my fear of social judgement. While we found solace in each other, I am afraid our recluse cannot last.

It has been a pleasant journey with you, at least for the four or five months we were together. But 2016 is coming to an end, so are we.

Take it as if you met someone, whom you reckoned will stay but did not. Take it as if you met someone, whom you thought would love the good and embrace the bad but did not. Take it as if it is a way of life, an act of growing up. Take it as if a door closes and a new one opens.

Nothing really happened between the two of us. We were just two confused youths who were trying to find our sense of belonging and entitlement. We were just two individuals who had crossed paths and walked side by side.

It never really was your fault. Truth is, it was mine. After all, I suggested the split. After all, my heart fluttered. After all, I realised I was not ready. I did lead you on a wild goose chase. I did waste your time. I did fail to embrace the notion of love – of its glorious rays of affection, of its sentimental ways of loyalty, of its never-ending cycle of forgiveness.

I was a jerk. You aren’t.

And I thank you for appearing on that crossroad in that impossible crowd. I thank you for appearing in that café where we managed to drown out the cacophony and immersed in what I thought was a meaningful conversation. I thank you for heeding my request for solitude. I thank you for showing me the side of me that I never thought I had.

And I am sorry. For everything that had happened.


2016 has been a cold, hard year. And I am glad it is ending.




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