stop telling me to get better,
stop trying to care.
leave me alone forever,
your presence is too hard for me to bear.



today it rained. and i have never liked the rain any better. in a way, i feel comforted. you see, things haven’t been working well for me. i get irritated frequently these days, and i get tired as a result. that’s not all, my hypocritical metre went bogus and i am going mad, and sad, and restless. it’s not depression because if it was i would have drowned myself in cheap wine. i hate whining about it but i guess it is a form of relief. the subject matter, the whole mesh of emotions, is hard to describe, and i shan’t go into details; but the thing is i feel sad for no apparent reason. one moment i am laughing at the Chewbacca lady and in a split second, i felt bad.

lately, i feel as if things are not going to work out. i feel as if my life will plunge into turmoil at every bend. i feel as if people are turning on me, i feel like i don’t belong here nor there. i feel betrayed when letters don’t return. i feel both equally starved and full at the same time. i feel insignificant. i feel bad. i feel bad for feeling bad. on the bright side, i no longer suffocate and i guess i have grown a little.

i wish i feel better. i really do.