Solo

I am an introvert. I, as Susan Cain, author of the “Power of Introverts”, calls it, respond best in quieter environment. This means I work best alone, well at least for most of the time. Probably because my mind is most active and alive, or probably because no impedimenta exists which inherently means me getting my job done quicker and more effectively. That is why I relish having solitude. Be it, a stroll in the park, or a bus ride to and from campus, or eating, or shopping – which I have this particular dislike, whilst shopping, for the salesperson to approach me – and  …

You get the idea.

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Went to catch The Hunger Games: MockingJay Part 1. It was awesome. 

It comes as no surprise to my family members for me to go to the movies alone, though I must say it may possibly be a different story coming from my friends. I cannot seem to figure why meetups invariably often means catching a movie together? Although I am cognizant of committing the irony/paradox of organising a gathering without interaction. I guess it is basically revolving around the idea of being contented with accompanying or getting accompanied. Which then brings me to the next question – lately I have been bombarded with questions, which are often sporadic in nature  – about dates. Why do couples choose to go to the movies? Could it be the preceding notion? or could it be something else? I am curious. (Maybe I need to fall in love go to dates)

Solitude and Loneliness are quite the polar opposite of each other. The former refers to the preference of being alone, while the latter refers to the pain of being alone. And there is nothing wrong in wanting to be alone. In fact, I’d like to recommend people to spare some time to themselves away from the internet, from their smartphones but not necessarily from the crowd. It might be beneficial, because personally, other than having some random revelations, I think I managed to figure what keeps me happy, and what not. Face it, having a time off from being empathetic to those around can be a reprieve.

Comically, I have to give credit to myself that being alone managed to help me generate the posts on the this blog.

That said, I like interacting with people. And I do have my social life, just that more often than not I spend time to myself to do the things I want, I like. I am no “emo kid”. I just like being quiet. We have our own preferences, and I am in no position to tell you what you want to do but I think it is time for you to enjoy the greater perks of being alone.

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Ebullience

As we embrace the darkness in open arms, under the accompaniment of the moon, stars and the skyscrapers, together with the blaring pop hits while prancing or sauntering down the laid out path along with many others, we are reminded that we are still children.

That’s right. We are still children.

And it is an unassailable notion that the interests of the child are of paramount importance. That is why there is all the more a need to satisfy the child’s wants. Probably because a child’s wants will form the rudiments of his psyche, or perhaps because the child desire to grow while retaining memories of sheer bliss, and maybe perhaps because a child’s wants are symbolical of his individuality.

Yet, yesterday night we have not only celebrated the aforementioned, we have gained more. Simply put, we indulged in Joie de Vivre. It was a night of colors, laughter, sweat, jumping, screaming, and a fervent expression of liberation. Yes, A-levels are over. We are no longer zombies, we are children.

It all began at 15 minutes pass 8.00pm, after depositing our belongings, we gathered at the start-point. The run, or so they called, was initiated in several batches, and because we were slightly late, we were amongst the middle-few to be released. Deejays from the local radio station and some other hot chics manned stage at the start-point, hyping the runners batch after batch. This inevitably reminded me of the sheer incompetency I had while trying to hype the audience while hosting my college’s road race earlier in the year. Nonetheless, I was enthralled by their sporadic but zealous responses, overall they possess a truly superb stage presence.

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There was another group waiting up ahead, and god bless them for waiting. We met up and began the run/walk. The route was 5km long -expanding from the road beside Nicoll Highway to the F1 pit and then the Singapore Flyer- and split into five different glow zones, each designated to have personnel ready to squirt, spray, pour variegated illumi glow water. You will get wet, and you will be colored, which radiates under the UV light (I think) quite beautifully.

There were runners, but they form a minority. The race,which cost SGD78, was mostly made up of people walking. It might seem a ridiculous way to hurl money away, which to a certain extent I thought it was a rip-off, but if you consider the memories created, I’d say it was a worthwhile investment.

We consisted of about 12 people, and there were 3 couples among us, each containing and maintaining their besotted minds, and we were garrulous. It was entertaining looking at one sardonically irritate someone else, and it was even more entertaining to join in the mockery.

The race ended with us situated at the bag depository area, in order words also meaning the start of the party. I managed to capture the following moments of us being children…

I had Denise took them for me.

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Me after the race!

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And the party begins. The booze booth was located at the side, and me being ever so lazy and awfully genteel today decides not to get them.IMG_20141128_113952

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I need to credit Juzan for sending these in:

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And not forgetting Huda for the following:
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There is no doubt we are all weary at the end of the day, but to me, at the very least, it was enjoyable and memorable, which is pretty evident from the fact that I stayed up late to finish this at one go.

I will recall the night. Definitely. Infinitely. 

Bucket.

Now that the major examinations are over and as the day till I enlist into the army approaches, I figured that I ought to enjoy myself. While I am overly zealous about indulging in post-examinations parties, I am dubious, given my limited time, that I will really enjoy myself. There are a LOT of things I would want to do in this mere 20 days or so, which includes chilling out with friends, spending quality time with my loved ones, having some time for myself and more, and the sad reality is that I do not have the time.

I’m literally “Living as if I’m going to die the next day“.  To summarize things up, the following will be a list of my activities I want to engage in before 09 December 2014, 2359: (In no order)

  1. Go to S.E.A Aquarium , and dine at the Cat Cora’s Ocean restaurant amid the company of the savory delights, fishes, sharks and other marine creatures. (Expected date of completion: 30/11/2014 )
  2. Karaoke! I have been to one once, and I am longing to go again! (Expected date of completion: 25/11/2014)
  3. Blood Donation. I am a frequent blood donor, three times a year every year since last year, and because of examinations I haven’t been exactly loyal. So, it’s time to go back! (Expected date of completion: 27/11/2014)
  4. Exclusive date with my fellow debaters.
  5. Exclusive date with the hotshot trios.
  6. Exclusive date with my mates from Pre-U Seminar.
  7. Slim down 3kg before Prom. (Expected date of completion: 4/12/2014)
  8. Illumi Run!! I was really jealous at those who went last year, and this year I made a promise to go there with my best friends! (Expected date of completion: 28/11/2014)
  9. Exclusive date with my Godmother. (Expected date of completion: 9/12/2014)
  10. Read 2 Books – Quiet by Susan Cains and The Sense of Style: the thinking person’s guide to writing in the 21st century by Steven Pinker.
  11. Cook and Eat a lot. (I know this may sound generalized and that it seems to contradict point 7) .
  12. Write daily!

The above is just a mini summarized list to what I want to do before enlisting, and trust me there are so much more things/events that I want to participate. I guess I will have to make haste slowly and walk on eggshells so as to not exclude anyone.

***

So, my family and I decided to spend the evening at Chinatown. And, boy am I glad to have gone there. I don’t know how Chinatown is like in other countries, but in Singapore it’s often filled with tourists, souvenirs shops, street food, and hawker food. I managed to capture some moments at the very last minute of my trip, so cheers!

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This was taken on the bridge connecting to malls, and I fell in love with this. For some reason, it reminds me of my time in CCHMS. How nostalgic. IMG_20141120_073308Food.

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And more food. And look at the cute little piggies!!
IMG_20141120_073140I finally am able to sink my teeth into this BOOMZ. It’s basically a cameralised fruit, one that originates from Beijing (I think). A splendid combination of sweet and sour serves as a perfect dessert for the big meal I had earlier on.

The Bigger Problem

Loud Thoughts Voiced Out

Glossophobia. Do you know what that means? I didn’t. In my first year at university, I stood in front of my entire class and instead of flawlessly explaining the cultural differences, I froze. Two weeks later I wrote a very long paper on that word. Glossophobia – The fear of public speaking.

We humans do this very often. We tend to not notice something until we have the need to do so. There aren’t a lot of things on this planet we learn about willingly.

Unfortunately, the people that aren’t a part of our lives fall under that category.

If you had looked at my History book at the end of an academic year, it would have looked brand new. I hated history. I was very clear – Somebody killed somebody. They’re both dead and I couldn’t care less.

And I know there are a lot of people that agree…

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Guilt.

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The truth is …

I take privileges for granted, abuse the kindness and waste my life at your expense.

Also …

I am already in pluvial water, ready to be a denizen of the deep.

And …

However, amicable, or mellow I may be, there is no doubt I am diabolical. Maybe even a little suicidal.

You see …

I worry about your sudden concern. Concern about my progress. It has always been the same, isn’t it? You never change. Since PSLE, Streaming, ‘O’s, Promos and now ‘A’s. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you care. In fact, it showed me that you have always been looking at me, even though you might not seem like it, especially since you work the weekend and left the weekdays empty. Whatever justifications you made as to why your weekdays are free, which I once cared, I shalln’t pursue but, regardless, it portrayed an envying insouciant life of yours.

That said, it might not be sudden at all. Your concern, I mean. Then again, it’s sudden, and particularly now, because I can no longer answer you while looking at you in the eye. I realised that as I get older I have lesser confidence and assurance in my answer.

I’d like to confess that the answers, which are ambiguous and seemingly arbitrary, are vindications of my guilt. The guilt of hubris and indolence.

I want to laugh at myself and maybe applaud my puny brain, which has this superb capability to inspire me to perform at subpar standards albeit countless attempts to stay positive. It’s hard to see motivation.

Motivation. What is it?

I’d like to indulge in and accept the mere fact that your concern should be an impetus for me to excel and not let you down. But I cannot will not.

The glaring blatant problem is that I know all these are happening. All these sudden conflicting changes. It’s like puberty just on the inside. But for some reason there is self-inertia. I recall Margaret Thatcher’s words on how what we think we become. Which leads me to the revelation that I am my own fault.

The goal now is to not conquer As but rather conquer myself. I’d wish for an extension so that I can focus on defeating my own inner demon, but time forbids, society forbids…

Here comes the twist, I may not be at fault in the first place. Putting down Asian ideals and picking up the Western ones, I see a need to incriminate you for being selfish and irresponsible, and refusing to push me further since you are one of the two who brings me life. I’m sure things would have worked out so much better since I have never been the recalcitrant sort.

I’d like to express my guilt. But I dare not see the sorrow beneath those furrows.

I see a storm coming. I happen to like storms. I like the sound of thunder, the glacial winds, the ferocious rain. I like it because it numbs me …

That TV clip which went viral

Hmmm… I still prefer my teh-bing(ice tea) to branded coffees. Otherwise, a really thought-provoking post. I’m ashamed at my myopic agreement with respect to the video.

Bertha Harian

So many people have been talking about the Channel 8 show 118 that I had to go and find out for myself what the fuss was about. It’s actually over a 90 second rant by a young man about the cost or standard of living. His parents were chiding him for some underhand methods he had doing business – and he just let it go. In Mandarin. This is my very loose translation.

“You think I’m the only one anxious to make money? Go ask other young people, who’s not anxious? By the time I finish serving the nation and graduate from university, I’ll be 23, 24 years old. In a blink of an eye, I’ll be 30. In these few years, I need to get married; buy a house, start a family with kids; how is that possible without money? A flat now costs at least $300,000 to $400,000…

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