午夜十二点的感想

我老爱随着人潮的漂泊而随地飘荡。我见过很多人,经历过许多事。也领悟到许多深奥的人生道理。

可笑的是,我只仅仅是位21岁的男生。哪来什么“见过很多人”或是“经历过许多事”?但我统统不管。

我高兴也骄傲。但实事上也有些失落,有些不满足。

说进展是有进展但仍然还是觉得自己停在此地毫无移动。

梦想是什么?友谊是什么?爱情又是什么?

没有梦想可以走遍天涯海角吗?没有朋友的支助可以走遍岁月的煎熬吗?没有爱情可以幸福吗?

我,完全不懂。

所以我沉浸在以前的渴望,也就是如今的失望。那些想去的地方去不了,想做的东西做不成,想实现的承诺实现不了。只能一一随着时间的流逝而忘掉。

 

也许我应该放弃规则,或是放肆自己。也许只有这样才能寻出人生的另类意思。

我不是不甘心,不是不高兴。只是还未找自己。

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Cycle v2.0

You are tucked underneath the layers of sheets in your bed, a sanctuary away from the chilly rain. Your eyes wandered from the whites of the ceiling, inspecting its purity, and you questioned yourself, in the back of your mind, if you were ever as pure.

It’s the kind of evening where remorse hits, like the forthcoming rain, in waves and you shuddered amid the layers of sheets, hoping that it will pass. But you know, the sensation will stay and not dissipate even if the rain stopped.

You decided to distract yourself, but not with sleep because you’ll probably wake up from a recurrent nightmare.

So you reached for your phone and the Facebook surveys popped up amongst your social feeds. You clicked on them one at a time, enjoying its content and laughed at its ridiculousness. And time flutters by as you counter checked your personalities, quizzed your pathetic lexicon and reaffirmed your personalities again.

Before you know it, you had dozed off and a familiar scene of you, burrowed under the sheets on your bed, staring into the ceiling replays.